1. Last Thursday (July 9th) I felt our baby girl move for the first time!! It was something that I needed to happen so bad and it was such a comforting feeling. Since that is all I know of pregnancies and of being a Mom, that creates a huge bond between me and my kids. I had already 100% bonded with this little gal but that for me, sealed the deal. I think that I cherish the signs of pregnancy and the different experiences because I know how much I love Mac without knowing his earthly presence. The 9 months I had of being pregnant with him are a huge chunk of the memories that I have. I feel like I need to document every kick and every ultrasound in case that is all I have to reflect back on.
Besides all of those points I am also just grateful in general for the chance that I have to be pregnant. I have some amazing women in my life that are not able to have children and I watch their struggles and hear about their feelings when others around them get pregnant and admire them. I don’t know another word- but I think that they are amazing and strong. I love each of them and the kids that have been adopted in to my family and thank them for sharing those experiences with me. I think that I’ve learned the most about what a family really means from them and I don’t think I’ve ever told them that their strength has been huge with getting me through difficult times and scary times.
Right now I can’t think of what is going to happen in the next 20 weeks, or I can’t focus and I turn in to a mess to be honest. I’ve decided that I’m going to take it one step at a time and just be grateful for what I have in the moment. Right now that is a little girl growing up, moving around, and getting strong. And some amazing feelings about loving this little one and loving my family of 4!
2. Look what Josh bought!!! It’s a heart beat monitor that I can use from home. Holy cow, can I be luckier! I have already used it multiple times and it’s already saved some serious panic attacks from happening. It’s such a comforting sound, even when I’m not worried- the heartbeat of a little baby. It doesn’t get any better than that!