Sunday, December 6, 2009

Love...True Love

My little boy has changed my life in a way that I never knew was possible. I love him more than I ever knew you could love someone. And I miss him more than feelings or words can express. Now that I have Oakland in my life, I realize how much I actually did miss with him and it makes me cherish every last second with her. From changing poopy diapers, to feeding her, to watching her smile that crooked smile of hers, cuddling with Dad, and snuggling with me- I LOVE it all! During the entire hospital stay there were things that kept sticking out to me that were so different from the two deliveries. Here are just a few that were big deals to me...

1. Mac- just a "contraction" tracker was hooked up to me, Oakland- I got to listen to her heartbeat the entire time!

2. Mac- I had a hospital band. Oakland- I had a band indicating that I could take a baby girl to and from the nursery and Josh and her had matching ones.

3. Mac- they woke me up every 2 hours to check blood and blood pressure status. Oakland- they woke me up every two hours to a screaming little girl that wanted her Mom.

4. Mac- people came to the hospital to visit Josh and I and a little boy that would never grow up on this earth. Oakland- people came to the hospital to visit my sweet little girl that would be here forever!
5. Mac- I got to dress him once at a cemetary. Oakland- I got to dress her up in warm clothes to take her home

6. Mac- I was heartbroken. Oakland- I was extatic!

Josh and I decided that on the way home from the Hospital we needed to take Oakland to Mac's grave to say hello. We found the nicest little surprise announcing Mac being a big brother! It really struck Josh and I that Oakland would be the luckiest girl to grow up with a big brother that would always be looking out for her. We sat in the car and just cried. Tears of pure joy that we had one too perfect little boy and a perfect little girl. I always wondered if I could love her as much as I love Mac, and that day I got my answer...I love both of my kids SO insanely much and feel lucky to be their Mom.

Here are just some stinking cute pictures of Oak...

Most of my wonderful cousins! (I don't have any with Brock or our Arizona cousins but will soon!)


Introducing Oakland...

I am the luckiest girl alive right now! I'm sitting here blogging while my Husband and new baby girl are cuddled up on the bed watching a movie. Not at a funeral. Not crying tears of pain and hurt. This time, I got to bring a healthy little baby girl right in to my home. I have never been happier in my entire life!! Here are a couple of pictures but there are so much more that I wasn't sure how long it would take me and I wanted to make sure I got some posted soon!

These are the first pictures of Josh and I with Oakland (story and feelings to come in a later post but you can probably get close to them with these pictures.)

And here are some close ups of Oakland! I must say that I am a little fond of her. :)
I had to add this picture because of the meaning it has for Josh and I. When I delivered Mac, this was something I would never have with him...him hold my finger and open his eyes at me. That was one of the first things Oakland did for me. She opened her eyes and looked right in to mine and then reached up and took hold of my finger like a reassurance that she wasn't going anywhere. This picture is when Josh took her to get bathed and I adore it!
Stayed tuned...