Come show your love and support for Josh & Cali by donating items and/or coming to this yard sale.
Visit www.utahmillers.com for more info.
Visit www.utahmillers.com for more info.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Monday, June 11, 2012
Prayers Needed
This is Josh's sister. Cali is not doing well. I've posted about it on my blog here and we ask for your prayers on her and her baby's behalf.
Friday, May 25, 2012
It is a...
.JPG)
This is the picture from his 15 week ultrasound, because todays was a very in depth ultrasound so you could see bones, kidneys, etc. and his... other part is a little bit harder to see. :) But he's definitely a HE!
Oakland has been super happy to have a brother, Josh is completely excited. I have to be honest... and don't get me wrong, I'm really happy. I am just a little anxious. My little man intimidates me. My sister in law explained it really good, I'm nervous to hold another little boy. One that is not Mac. And it's all really familiar, having a boy....
So the full anatomy ultrasound went really well, the pool of blood wasn't there any longer. They measure every inch of him- bones, brain, distance between eyes. Looked at his heart, stomach, kidney... all of it. They then looked at my uteras, amount of amniotic fluid, and everything looks amazing. And not just amazing for me- but things are looking up. I'm 18 weeks and 1 day pregnant and he was actually measuring 19 weeks and 2 days, but they won't move my due date until he's measured that way a few times. I had a few contractions while they were doing the ultrasound but nothing I could feel and they didn't seem worried- just told me to watch it.
So unless there are more complications, then I'll have another appointment in 4 weeks. I can already feel him kick, but only when I'm sitting really still and no one else can feel it yet. We need help deciding on names- and we better hurry or my Mom and Oakland will continue to call him Carl! Thoughts?
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
124 days down, 156 left…
Tomorrow I will be officially 18 weeks pregnant and 2 weeks
blood free! I started my blood thinner this past week and so far things are
going really well… besides the fact that I’m a complete nut case and check the
baby’s heart beat at least 4 times a day (and I will not disclose how many
times I normally do). :)
Sorry I waited so long to update- I have turned in to a pessimist so kept
thinking the “no blood” was “the calm before the storm”. No honestly, I’ve had
some great support from Josh who has tried to keep me busy and have just been
trying to relax and not stress myself out. Josh and I decided that I needed to
cut back on my full time job so I resigned as the call center manager (here’s
the posting in case anyone is interested! http://www.ksl.com/jobs/listing/89873/8)
and am going to only be working 2 days a week once I can get someone trained
for my position.
I have my 18 week appointment on Friday that I’m hoping to
learn more about the pool of blood they found in the last ultra sound and will
actually also meet with my maternal fetal medicine doctor to ensure things in
that realm are going well. We found out 3 weeks ago the gender of our baby, but
since I was only 15 weeks I’ll wait until Friday to ensure nothing grew or fell
off… any guesses? :)
I keep wondering/wanting to know when I’ll understand what I
need to learn from these trials right this second. I have learned that most women have scary
moments, trouble, or anxiety during pregnancy. Not a lot just go 100% smooth. I’m
also still very grateful that I can have kids but am more grateful to those in
my life that are unable to, but still seem to be my biggest support- sometimes
without knowing it. But besides those, here is a list of things that have changed my family and I during all of this.
11.
Oakland will be a Doctor as she knows more about giving/comforting during a shot than any nurse I've met and checks her sibling’s heartbeat more than I do!
22.
Family means more than the world to me. I found
myself willing to give up my health, strength, comfort, anything to protect
this little one.
33.
I need to focus more on my family that I have
here. I terrified Oakland, and she aged 20 years just to help me, comfort me,
and make sure I was happy daily.
44.
I have some exceptional friends and family
members.
55.
And “… dark times and trials are important.
Trials show us the beauty of God’s comfort. It’s through the comfort we receive
from God during our difficult times that we learn how to comfort others.
Sometimes the process of growing closer to our Heavenly Father comes along the
path of heartache and pain.”
And last... I have the most extraordinary little family and wouldn't change a single one of them.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Update? - after 2 years it may be called something else?
Well it has been almost 2 whole years that I have posted anything! Why? Because life is crazy, I have a two year old, work full time and honestly almost always just sit here and cry when I start to blog. I don't really know why? It reminds me a lot of Mac is the only conclusion I can think of. I am blogging today because... I need to. I haven't written in a journal and this is the easiest way for me to document all that is going on. And this week a lot is going on.
I am pregnant! 15 weeks and 1 day to be exact. With Oakland and this pregnancy it always started out with fear. I get anxious, I'm nervous, and my portable heart beat monitor is my best friend. I know it's not likely that something similar to my experience with Mac will happen but I still have so many feelings that re-surface or magnify when I'm pregnant.
With this pregnancy, I've had to add on the concern of getting a blood clot. Josh and I had to plan this pregnancy because that meant going off of my current blood thinner, coumadin. I've been taking a shot known as Lovenox since September in preparation to have a baby and in January, found out I was pregnant! My OB dr. is quite the amazing guy (to say the least). He got me in early, scheduled me to meet with a fetal maternal medicine doctor and they got me prepared on a perfect does of Lovenox to prevent clots but also to not cause damage to the baby.
Taking the shots twice daily has been hard for me. I'm terrified of needles, the thought of inflicting pain twice a day is just not something I love. I sometimes feel like it's taking over my life too, I am bound to taking this or something will go wrong. However, I have learned a lot from my OB and fetal medicine Dr. about why I clot, more tests they have run and I get lucky to have a few more ultra sounds to ensure everything is still cooking right so it's had it's benefits... in a weird way. :)
I've been terribly sick this pregnancy. Had two liquid IV's to hydrate me again, been on Zofran for the past 2 months and relied a lot on my two year old. Sad, but she's actually quite the helper and super understanding. Since my first appointment until now I have lost a total of 4 pounds, but the baby is growing good, so that's not an issue (and better than the weight I gained with Mac :) )
On Monday morning I woke up with some slight bleeding (sorry this may be rated PG-13). It was only in the morning so I thought I would monitor it to see if it continued througout the day and it didn't. I was able to find the babies heart beat so I assumed it was just one of those off times. Tuesday morning at 2:00 a.m. I woke up with a lot of blood and immediately called the Dr on call to see what I should do (go off lovenox- would that even help?!) He told me to call first thing in the morning and set up an ultrasound.
That morning felt like a million years. All Josh and I could do was look up details on miscarriage and what to expect. Oakland woke up about 3 and climbed in to bed with us and could not understand why we were awake (and offered us some comic relief with her early morning grouchy comments). She kept asking what was wrong, why I was crying, and why the lights were on cause it was making her not sleep. We finally turned the lights off and when we thought she was asleep Josh told me that he would take her downstairs to watch Mickey Mouse if something happened, and she replied, "Dad I don't want to watch Mickey Mouse, I'm so tired, I just want to sleep". :) We all did, but I couldn't. So I laid there until 9:00 when the Dr. office opened.
We went in to meet with the Dr. (still was bleeding) and was actually scheduled to meet with another Dr. in the office because my regular Dr. was booked but he saw us and immediately told the nurse he would take us from here on out. We did an ultra sound and everything looked ok, baby's heart beat was strong, there wasn't any blood pooling... so he guessed it was just regular pregnancy bleeding but since I was on Lovenox it may seem stronger and last longer but to watch it and if it didn't slow down to come in on Thursday.
It didn't slow down... Wednesday I felt like it was the second day of my period. It was new fresh blood and lots of it. I continued to find the baby's heart beat throughout the day and at 4:30 my Dr. called me from his cell phone.
We decided it was time for another ultrasound and he scheduled me an appointment for 8:30 in the morning. I continued to bleed and check the heartbeat the rest of the night and this morning we went in again.
We did an ultra sound and this time were able to locate a pool of blood in the Uterus, just next to the water sac but not with the baby. That is definitely where the bleeding is coming from but still no sign of why I'm bleeding. The Dr. can see it's not coming from the baby but from me. It's still a concern though if the bleeding spreads or worsens. It was decided to take me off lovenox until the bleeding stops, in hopes that my blood will clot just enough to stop the bleeding and heal whatever the cause of the bleeding is from and risk the chance of a clot. I can't go on bedrest because I chance clotting now that I'm off blood thinner, so I'm on limited activity. Nothing strenuous activity, no lifting, no bumpy rides, or sitting in one place for a long time and lots of small calm walks to keep my blood a movin.
It's a waiting game. Right now there is over a 40% chance I will have a miscarriage, I'm still bleeding, I'm trying to not dwell on the worst but have to prepare myself for it. I want to hope for the best but am terrified to get my hopes up. I've re-lived my experience with Mac at least 1 million times. I'm trying so hard to not let Oakland see my emotions because she's having a hard time understanding it all. She tells everyone that I was very scared and am kind of sad. She asks me all the time if I'm ok, if I'm happy, if I'm healthy... this morning she told me she wants to hold the baby really bad. Me too Oak, let's pray for that 60%...
I am pregnant! 15 weeks and 1 day to be exact. With Oakland and this pregnancy it always started out with fear. I get anxious, I'm nervous, and my portable heart beat monitor is my best friend. I know it's not likely that something similar to my experience with Mac will happen but I still have so many feelings that re-surface or magnify when I'm pregnant.
With this pregnancy, I've had to add on the concern of getting a blood clot. Josh and I had to plan this pregnancy because that meant going off of my current blood thinner, coumadin. I've been taking a shot known as Lovenox since September in preparation to have a baby and in January, found out I was pregnant! My OB dr. is quite the amazing guy (to say the least). He got me in early, scheduled me to meet with a fetal maternal medicine doctor and they got me prepared on a perfect does of Lovenox to prevent clots but also to not cause damage to the baby.
Taking the shots twice daily has been hard for me. I'm terrified of needles, the thought of inflicting pain twice a day is just not something I love. I sometimes feel like it's taking over my life too, I am bound to taking this or something will go wrong. However, I have learned a lot from my OB and fetal medicine Dr. about why I clot, more tests they have run and I get lucky to have a few more ultra sounds to ensure everything is still cooking right so it's had it's benefits... in a weird way. :)
I've been terribly sick this pregnancy. Had two liquid IV's to hydrate me again, been on Zofran for the past 2 months and relied a lot on my two year old. Sad, but she's actually quite the helper and super understanding. Since my first appointment until now I have lost a total of 4 pounds, but the baby is growing good, so that's not an issue (and better than the weight I gained with Mac :) )
On Monday morning I woke up with some slight bleeding (sorry this may be rated PG-13). It was only in the morning so I thought I would monitor it to see if it continued througout the day and it didn't. I was able to find the babies heart beat so I assumed it was just one of those off times. Tuesday morning at 2:00 a.m. I woke up with a lot of blood and immediately called the Dr on call to see what I should do (go off lovenox- would that even help?!) He told me to call first thing in the morning and set up an ultrasound.
That morning felt like a million years. All Josh and I could do was look up details on miscarriage and what to expect. Oakland woke up about 3 and climbed in to bed with us and could not understand why we were awake (and offered us some comic relief with her early morning grouchy comments). She kept asking what was wrong, why I was crying, and why the lights were on cause it was making her not sleep. We finally turned the lights off and when we thought she was asleep Josh told me that he would take her downstairs to watch Mickey Mouse if something happened, and she replied, "Dad I don't want to watch Mickey Mouse, I'm so tired, I just want to sleep". :) We all did, but I couldn't. So I laid there until 9:00 when the Dr. office opened.
We went in to meet with the Dr. (still was bleeding) and was actually scheduled to meet with another Dr. in the office because my regular Dr. was booked but he saw us and immediately told the nurse he would take us from here on out. We did an ultra sound and everything looked ok, baby's heart beat was strong, there wasn't any blood pooling... so he guessed it was just regular pregnancy bleeding but since I was on Lovenox it may seem stronger and last longer but to watch it and if it didn't slow down to come in on Thursday.
It didn't slow down... Wednesday I felt like it was the second day of my period. It was new fresh blood and lots of it. I continued to find the baby's heart beat throughout the day and at 4:30 my Dr. called me from his cell phone.
We decided it was time for another ultrasound and he scheduled me an appointment for 8:30 in the morning. I continued to bleed and check the heartbeat the rest of the night and this morning we went in again.
We did an ultra sound and this time were able to locate a pool of blood in the Uterus, just next to the water sac but not with the baby. That is definitely where the bleeding is coming from but still no sign of why I'm bleeding. The Dr. can see it's not coming from the baby but from me. It's still a concern though if the bleeding spreads or worsens. It was decided to take me off lovenox until the bleeding stops, in hopes that my blood will clot just enough to stop the bleeding and heal whatever the cause of the bleeding is from and risk the chance of a clot. I can't go on bedrest because I chance clotting now that I'm off blood thinner, so I'm on limited activity. Nothing strenuous activity, no lifting, no bumpy rides, or sitting in one place for a long time and lots of small calm walks to keep my blood a movin.
It's a waiting game. Right now there is over a 40% chance I will have a miscarriage, I'm still bleeding, I'm trying to not dwell on the worst but have to prepare myself for it. I want to hope for the best but am terrified to get my hopes up. I've re-lived my experience with Mac at least 1 million times. I'm trying so hard to not let Oakland see my emotions because she's having a hard time understanding it all. She tells everyone that I was very scared and am kind of sad. She asks me all the time if I'm ok, if I'm happy, if I'm healthy... this morning she told me she wants to hold the baby really bad. Me too Oak, let's pray for that 60%...
Friday, July 30, 2010
Come home please...
My Little Sister is currently up at a Scout Camp being a Cope Course instructor and has been this entire summer! But the good news is, she will be home in two weeks!! Taylor and I weren't exactly friends when we were little. Colby and I are 15 months apart so always stuck together and teased and tormented her as much as we could. Then Colby left on his mission and I had to be her friend. :) No honestly, we got to be really close and I think even after I got married, we got even closer. I can talk to Taylor about a lot of stuff. She is a great little sister but also one of my Best Friends. Sure she can be a little spacey but the girl has so many other talents! She has a solid testimony, a great sense of humor, she'll listen to me when I need her to, and she is a strong person (inside and out :) ).
Now, those are just a few of her talents. She sings, harmonizes, writes music, reads music and can tell you every note or key you sing in, Amazingly! She draws, colors, paints, doodles better than anyone I have ever met. She takes pictures with her photographer brain and has every aspect of an artist. :)
This is one of her most recent drawings... yes, done in pencil, also yes, done in about a week. She did this of our really good friend Lindsey's kids. One; they are stinkin adorable! but two: this picture is almost identical to the one she copied it from.... and did I mention they are way cute!! I was so impressed with her, every time she does another artwork of some kind I am more impressed with this talent of hers. Maybe I can force her in to doing one for me when she gets home?... Or maybe Colby and I will torment her until she does, I'm sure Colby would be in on it if he got a picture out of it too. :)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
4 weeks later...
Wow, I have really slacking when it comes to keeping up on my blog! That's right, it has been 4 weeks... :( Well let me tell you why.
Shortly after Josh wrecked his mountain bike, Oakland and I got to go to Island Park with my family for a reunion. I will post pictures of that later because Oakland and I had a blast and really enjoyed spending so much time together. The weekend we got home, we moved...in to a HOUSE!!!! Yay! (pictures will come later) I have loved every minute of it but with moving comes packing, heavy lifting, unpacking, putting things away, organizing, etc. As you can imagine Josh is not able to do a lot of that since his accident so I have been trying to take on his duties as well. We also do not currently have internet so when I do have down time, I can't blog. I know lame excuses again! But I had some time today at my Mom's so thought I would just update you on Oakland....
She is getting so big! Her first tooth is coming in, she is SOOO close to crawling but normally ends up in tears of frustration when she can't reach the toy I have put out of reach. Her hair still stands on end and I can't do anything about it. :)
She loves reading and My Grandma gave her the "5 green and speckled frogs" book. It is by far her favorite and she loves to look through the pages.
Like I mentioned- we moved. It was very happy and sad, Oakland absolutely adores my Grandparents so it was really hard moving out of their basement. She got to see them so much and I think the world of them and am amazed at what great grandparents they are to me, but especially how much they love Oakland. I miss them a lot during the day when I'm at home but am glad that I can still visit whenever I want!
Oakland loves our new home (now... she didn't at first and was really scared of being by herself in any room of the house)
Her hair is long enough but not thick enough yet to put in a pony tail (and who needs a pony tail when it already sticks up right?). I found some little clips that seem to work good... but as you can tell from Oaklands face- she's not really a fan.
Oakland is a very good eater but is also very in to feeding herself. :)
Her new favorite thing is Bath- time!
She is now in a forward facing car seat and it is such a LIFE SAVER for a baby that hates car seats. She's a little better now that she can see everything and I can reach her if I need to.
Oakland has a really cute personality lately. I took this picture last night because she was being the biggest ham! She screams all the time- not being upset, she's actually really happy when she does it normally... just likes to hear her own voice I guess?
Now that I'm back in the groove of things, I'll try to post more, but enjoy the pictures for now!
Shortly after Josh wrecked his mountain bike, Oakland and I got to go to Island Park with my family for a reunion. I will post pictures of that later because Oakland and I had a blast and really enjoyed spending so much time together. The weekend we got home, we moved...in to a HOUSE!!!! Yay! (pictures will come later) I have loved every minute of it but with moving comes packing, heavy lifting, unpacking, putting things away, organizing, etc. As you can imagine Josh is not able to do a lot of that since his accident so I have been trying to take on his duties as well. We also do not currently have internet so when I do have down time, I can't blog. I know lame excuses again! But I had some time today at my Mom's so thought I would just update you on Oakland....
She is getting so big! Her first tooth is coming in, she is SOOO close to crawling but normally ends up in tears of frustration when she can't reach the toy I have put out of reach. Her hair still stands on end and I can't do anything about it. :)
She loves reading and My Grandma gave her the "5 green and speckled frogs" book. It is by far her favorite and she loves to look through the pages.
Like I mentioned- we moved. It was very happy and sad, Oakland absolutely adores my Grandparents so it was really hard moving out of their basement. She got to see them so much and I think the world of them and am amazed at what great grandparents they are to me, but especially how much they love Oakland. I miss them a lot during the day when I'm at home but am glad that I can still visit whenever I want!
Oakland loves our new home (now... she didn't at first and was really scared of being by herself in any room of the house)
Her hair is long enough but not thick enough yet to put in a pony tail (and who needs a pony tail when it already sticks up right?). I found some little clips that seem to work good... but as you can tell from Oaklands face- she's not really a fan.
Oakland is a very good eater but is also very in to feeding herself. :)
Her new favorite thing is Bath- time!
She is now in a forward facing car seat and it is such a LIFE SAVER for a baby that hates car seats. She's a little better now that she can see everything and I can reach her if I need to.
Oakland has a really cute personality lately. I took this picture last night because she was being the biggest ham! She screams all the time- not being upset, she's actually really happy when she does it normally... just likes to hear her own voice I guess?
Now that I'm back in the groove of things, I'll try to post more, but enjoy the pictures for now!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.JPG)
