Baby Mac and Oakland

The other day we made a family trip up to see Mac right before bedtime! We call the cemetery Mac's park and I really want Oakland to know it and like to go up there. I try to take her up as much as possible and she is always really good when we are up there. I don't know how it will be for her, not knowing Mac. I know that for me, Mac's park is more a place where I can remember him and I like to go up there because that's one of the few places we got to spend with his little body. I don't really know how to explain it, but his park is really special to me and I hope that my kids can understand that and feel the spirit that is in Baby Land.

I don't know how many of you saw My Mom's post but there was a statue up at Mac's park of Jesus with little kids sitting around his knee. It was a really meaningful statue to probably a lot of the parents that have children buried there. Well, someone took a sledge hammer to Jesus and they ended up having to take the whole status down. :( It was on the news but here is a picture of how it looks now. On my Mom's blog there is a picture of right after it happened. Mac's grave is right behind the garden so just a few feet away from this statue. It's really sad...

Hopefully Mac's headstone will be leveled this spring from the tractor that drove over it to add another friend to Mac's park. It's a little crooked right now, but what little boy does stay in tip top shape when they are almost 2? :)

The Mom, The Wheelchair, and the stroller

So the other day, I came home to this...

So much fun! Alex is back in his wheelchair because the screw they put in his hip has broken. They will be doing surgery again soon to fix it and he'll most likely be in a full body cast after.

:( Poor guy. My Mom is so amazing to take care of the girls as well as keep Alex entertained and having fun in the wheelchair. to keep posted on Alex, read here...Thanks Mom and Alex for doing a train walk with Oakland!!!

The great outdoors!

Oakland mowed her first lawn last Saturday with Grandpa Scott. Thanks Grandpa for being such a great man and always so willing to play, watch and entertain Oakland. She really loves you and is luck to have you as a Great-Grandpa!

Ok- can they look more alike? Oakland is totally her Dad's little girl!

She loves the grass...

Nothing better than painted toe nails and a freshly mowed lawn!!

Oakland + Stroller = Pure Happiness

What more can I say? Oakland absolutely loves her stroller. Now that it's warm, it's her new favorite toy... And you all know I enjoy it too!!!

Bikes...

So any of you that know Josh, knows he gets on kicks of what he wants to buy next. Shoes, a toy chest, games... even items he knows we won't have for a long time; a house, a BIG truck, a motorcycle, a jeep, a big screen tv... everything that has to come when you are rich. :)

Well he got his mind set on bikes. A mountain bike for himself, a nice bike for me to ride and a trailer for Oakland. I was not too excited about that until he said the main reason he wanted it was to ride up to Mac's grave on a warm summer day with Oak and I.... Awwww- I'm sold!!!



Josh rides at least 3-4 times a week, I try to do my best but get so warn out! I really need to get my leg back in shape from the blood clot. It still gets really weak or cramps up if I do too much. And I am proud to brag about Josh and say that he HAS actually ridden from our house up to Mac's grave!!!



Oakland loves riding behind our bikes. She seriously enjoys looking around, going over bumps, and being outside. It's a really fun family activity and we do it often so I'm glad that we bought them!


After the bike ride is done, Oak is always sad to go back in her car seat... but she knows we will do it again!!

She's in good hands

This is a conversation Josh and I had via text when I was at work and he was watching Oakland:

Cali: How's my baby?
Josh: So good... we both just woke up...she's so cute
Cali: Did you guys play outside?
Josh: Yeah she loves it... but she got hungry so we came in quick.
Cali: Thanks for taking such good care of her...
Josh: I have to... She's my girl

Awww. What a sweet Daddy!!!

Why did this happen to me?

When Mac first passed away, I think everyone's first thought was "Why". Sometimes you just can't help it. I wondered why I wasn't good enough to be a Mom, or what I had done to cause this to happen. I wondered why I had gone through the entire 9 months of pregnancy, only to have a life with Mac cut short because of a cord accident. I wondered why God would do this to me? Why does he not love me enough to keep me from feeling that pain. I think everyone tends to do this when life gets tough.

Today though, I say this...

Why did God love me enough to trust me with his choice spirits and allow me to have Oakland on this earth to raise? What did I do to cause this to happen- be lucky enough to have two amazing kids. Why did I go through the doubts and hurt thinking I wasn't good enough when I know now what I do? Why would God do this to me? Why does he LOVE me so much that he would let me feel pain so that when Oakland was born, I know the hurt I could have felt and can feel the gratitude, pure love, and happiness towards our kids.

A wise women once said, "We can ask "why?" and "if only..." all we want, but it won't change the reality that Mac just wasn't meant to stay with us. No matter what would have happened differently, the outcome would have remained the same. God does not make mistakes. Mac was simply not meant to be here. He was too perfect to stay. His spirit was so pure that he had to be called home before enduring the trials and pains of this world. He fulfilled his earthly mission in the short time he was here and has returned to his heavenly home."

I say, "We should ask "why?" about the good things in life every day, because Heavenly Father loves us enough to bless us on a daily basis. No matter what does happen in our lives, God does not make mistakes. Some things are meant to happen, to teach us and to help us grow. We need to strive to be perfect. Our family needs to look up to Mac and his spirit that is so pure and live through the trials and pain of this world so we can be with him again some day. We need to fulfill our earthly mission in the time we have so we can also return to our heavenly home."

Why am I and my family healthy?
Why do I get the oppurtunity to raise such an amazing little girl?
Why do I have such a great job?
Why do I have a husband that loves me?
Why do I get the chance to see snow and smell rain?
Why do I get the priviledge to live in a day where there are wonderous things happening in the church?
Why do I deserve this? Why is this happening to me? HOW did I get so lucky...