It just can't get any better!!!

After I had Mac, in my mind, I was a mom and I could never go back. In some other peoples mind, I wasn't a Mom because I didn't have a kid here on this earth to raise. People would ask me if Oak was my first, and I would sometimes find myself answering yes. I don't know if this was because I didn't want to take the time to explain, if I was afraid I would cry because of all the pregnant hormones, or if I knew saying I had a stillborn was/is a natural conversation stopper? Towards the end of my pregnancy this was something I fought with so hard and got really emotional about it. After having Oak, in my mind, she is my second child. Now if people ask me, I would proudly and without hesitation say that I have two kids, she is my second, she has an amazing older brother, we are a family of four and we are all lucky to have him in our lives....and I wouldn't care if I balled my eyes out the whole time.

I think that sometimes I try to block out the sadness, forget that heart-renching feeling when someone tells you that your baby is no longer alive, and even sometimes want to say that I have one kid. What I have recently realized is that none of that helps the pain. When I think about him, talk about him, and even share him with others is when I seem to be really happy because he's my kid. Why hide him?

I absolutely love and adore Oakland. I could spend every minute with her and it would never get old for me....One of my very good friends wrote on her blog, "My newest visual obsession" when she had her son. When she first put that I thought I understood what she meant because I have Mac but I don't think I understood the meaning of her post title because at the time all I had was pictures of Mac to look at everyday and try to see new things. With Oak- it's totally different because I get to watch her grow and progress everyday. I honestly would not mind watching Oak sleep, nap, cry, anything. I have two completely different visual obsessions and find myself very lucky to be someone that can say that. It doesn't get any better...

MORE PICTURES AND UPDATE ON OAK....

Sarah and some other work friends chipped in to get Oak a Bumbo for my shower. The first time I put her in it- I thought she was going to die she cried so hard. Now...she LOVES IT! Thanks so much everyone!!!

Watching sports center...


Just chilling in my bumbo watching the ceiling fan...



Oakland is lucky to live so close to both mine and Josh's family. Here are some pictures of recent visits. I thought this first one was cute of my Mom holding Oakland on her legs...


My brother, Alex, is the greatest little uncle and has really started to bond with the two little girls in the family. He's getting really big and can hold Oakland- "All by myself".


My Older Brothers little girl and Oakland are only 3 months apart- I already know they are going to LOVE it! Morgan gets really excited when she first sees Oak and try's to grab her to put her in her mouth, pull her hair, or hit her in excitement. It really is pretty cute!

Oakland is lucky enough to live in her great-grandma's (G.G.'s) basement. G.G. is really good with her and frequently reads and sings to her. I am so glad that she will get to grow up knowing her and my Grandpa- they are both amazing people and love Oakland to death!

This is Oaklands second Mom...some days I think Tinker thinks she is her first mom! She loves Oak and is very protective over her. The other day Oak was sitting in her bouncer and one of my grandparents cats came over to smell her- Tinker came running over growling to chase the cat away and make sure Oakland was ok. I better watch out!!

Josh and Oaklands new game...

To update you on Josh, he is still attending school at UVU and only has one semester left before he graduates. (YAY!!!) He just got an internship at Alder Construction and is LOVING every minute of it. We are really hoping he gets a job out of it so keep praying for us that he will! Josh is probably Oaklands favorite person- she will follow him with her eyes whenever he is in the room, if she hears his voice she will turn her neck in whatever direction she can until he is in her eyesight, and she normally stops crying as soon as her picks her up...oh did I mention that she loves to watch sports center with him? I'm thinking they are going to be pretty good buds and I don't think Josh would mind one bit. :)