Why did this happen to me?

When Mac first passed away, I think everyone's first thought was "Why". Sometimes you just can't help it. I wondered why I wasn't good enough to be a Mom, or what I had done to cause this to happen. I wondered why I had gone through the entire 9 months of pregnancy, only to have a life with Mac cut short because of a cord accident. I wondered why God would do this to me? Why does he not love me enough to keep me from feeling that pain. I think everyone tends to do this when life gets tough.

Today though, I say this...

Why did God love me enough to trust me with his choice spirits and allow me to have Oakland on this earth to raise? What did I do to cause this to happen- be lucky enough to have two amazing kids. Why did I go through the doubts and hurt thinking I wasn't good enough when I know now what I do? Why would God do this to me? Why does he LOVE me so much that he would let me feel pain so that when Oakland was born, I know the hurt I could have felt and can feel the gratitude, pure love, and happiness towards our kids.

A wise women once said, "We can ask "why?" and "if only..." all we want, but it won't change the reality that Mac just wasn't meant to stay with us. No matter what would have happened differently, the outcome would have remained the same. God does not make mistakes. Mac was simply not meant to be here. He was too perfect to stay. His spirit was so pure that he had to be called home before enduring the trials and pains of this world. He fulfilled his earthly mission in the short time he was here and has returned to his heavenly home."

I say, "We should ask "why?" about the good things in life every day, because Heavenly Father loves us enough to bless us on a daily basis. No matter what does happen in our lives, God does not make mistakes. Some things are meant to happen, to teach us and to help us grow. We need to strive to be perfect. Our family needs to look up to Mac and his spirit that is so pure and live through the trials and pain of this world so we can be with him again some day. We need to fulfill our earthly mission in the time we have so we can also return to our heavenly home."

Why am I and my family healthy?
Why do I get the oppurtunity to raise such an amazing little girl?
Why do I have such a great job?
Why do I have a husband that loves me?
Why do I get the chance to see snow and smell rain?
Why do I get the priviledge to live in a day where there are wonderous things happening in the church?
Why do I deserve this? Why is this happening to me? HOW did I get so lucky...