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President Dwight Eisenhower once said, "There is no tragedy in life like the death of a child, things never get back to the way they were."

I still can not decide if they don't get back to the way they were for the worst, or the better. Recently I've come to the conclusion that it's both. On one side of the spectrum, I've learned more from this experience than I have through anything else in my entire life, however, on the other side- I'm always torn up inside.

I've tried so many things to help myself get on in the every day world, to stop the nightmares, to feel better about yet another month without a kid, to stop crying every day, so this month I tried something else...I haven't been to Mac's grave since the beginning of January. Before I hadn't even missed 2 days, and I thought it might help....it didn't.

Our newest family members!

I have been asking Josh for a pet because I really felt like I needed something to cuddle with. A puppy, kitten, anything that I can hold and take care of. Well we live in a basement apartment so pets are not allowed. :( So Josh comprimised and for Christmas he got me something that I could take care of- Introducing....Float, Flotsam, and Jetsam!!!!!

Float is my fish, Flotsam is the fatter frog sitting closer to float and Jetsam is the skinny guy at the top. Aren't they so cute?! (My sister, Taylor, helped Josh with picking everything out! Thanks TJ!)

Josh picked out the cutest little tank that has rocks in the center and then vinyl that goes up the back and along the bottom. It's all white around the outside and so cute! I was totally impressed that he would pick out such a cute tank! :) I love you Josh and thanks again.