Sunday, December 6, 2009

Love...True Love

My little boy has changed my life in a way that I never knew was possible. I love him more than I ever knew you could love someone. And I miss him more than feelings or words can express. Now that I have Oakland in my life, I realize how much I actually did miss with him and it makes me cherish every last second with her. From changing poopy diapers, to feeding her, to watching her smile that crooked smile of hers, cuddling with Dad, and snuggling with me- I LOVE it all! During the entire hospital stay there were things that kept sticking out to me that were so different from the two deliveries. Here are just a few that were big deals to me...

1. Mac- just a "contraction" tracker was hooked up to me, Oakland- I got to listen to her heartbeat the entire time!

2. Mac- I had a hospital band. Oakland- I had a band indicating that I could take a baby girl to and from the nursery and Josh and her had matching ones.

3. Mac- they woke me up every 2 hours to check blood and blood pressure status. Oakland- they woke me up every two hours to a screaming little girl that wanted her Mom.

4. Mac- people came to the hospital to visit Josh and I and a little boy that would never grow up on this earth. Oakland- people came to the hospital to visit my sweet little girl that would be here forever!
5. Mac- I got to dress him once at a cemetary. Oakland- I got to dress her up in warm clothes to take her home




6. Mac- I was heartbroken. Oakland- I was extatic!


Josh and I decided that on the way home from the Hospital we needed to take Oakland to Mac's grave to say hello. We found the nicest little surprise announcing Mac being a big brother! It really struck Josh and I that Oakland would be the luckiest girl to grow up with a big brother that would always be looking out for her. We sat in the car and just cried. Tears of pure joy that we had one too perfect little boy and a perfect little girl. I always wondered if I could love her as much as I love Mac, and that day I got my answer...I love both of my kids SO insanely much and feel lucky to be their Mom.


Here are just some stinking cute pictures of Oak...



Most of my wonderful cousins! (I don't have any with Brock or our Arizona cousins but will soon!)



I LOVE MY DAD!!!


20 comments:

Justin and Tasha said...

Congrats, She is beautiful, and your family is blessed for sure to have 2 beautiful babys ! Enjoy every moment with her because she will grow before your eyes !!!

Nikki said...

Thanks for sharing your before and after thoughts. What an amazing feeling you must have for both of your babies.

nennermommy said...

Oh my Gosh I am Crying...Beautiful! I look forward to seeing my Angel families and this experience.. Amazing! I am just so happy for you two! I love that you visited Mac I know he loved it!

Erin said...

On Sunday I was amazed at your answer when I asked you what the hardest part about having a baby was for you guys so far. You thought about it for a second and then said "nothing." When I thought about it, I realized that because you lost Mac, every single moment--even the not-so-pleasant ones like the poopy diapers, loss of sleep, crying, etc--is probably cherished so much more by you two because you know what it's like not to have those "blessings" in your life. It reminded me again how much I need to grateful for every moment, good or bad, I get to share with Bryson. You guys are amazing!

Blankenship Babbles said...

I've been following you for quite some time...not even sure how I found you now. But I'm so glad I did...you are a beautiful person inside and out...and your babies are so blessed to have you as their Momma...Mac is smiling down on you all!!! God Bless you and I look forward to watching little Oakland grow up!

{Mandy}

Email me if you want to see my blog...my email is mandyblankenship@hotmail.com

Chelsea Lewis said...

Cali - This is amazing! I am so beyond happy for you!

Oakland is one beautiful little girl that is so lucky to have you guys as parents and Mac as a big brother!

I look forward to seeing more of her growing up!

Village said...

It is so stinkin amazing what clarity you have about life. You amaze Matt and I every day. How fantastic that you are getting to have this time with her and that your posts are joyful... we are so happy for you guys - it's about time you got to smile...

Katie Brousseau

Anonymous said...

Cali,

Jim and I are so excited for you guys! Oakland is beautiful. I am SO glad everything went well and you two are and should be proud parents of both of your children. We miss you guys! We will need to get our little girls together for a play date some day. Truly, we couldn't be happier for you three. She is so precious! Congratulations.

Melissa Tabish

Sara said...

You are such an amazing set of parents and Oakland and Mac are both lucky to have you. The lessons that you have learned even though it was so hard since Mac left this earth to be with his Heavenly Father. You are wonderful parents and I look forward to seeing your beautiful daughter grow.

The Wood Family said...

Cali,
I am so happy for you and Josh. She is beautiful! They grow up so quickly, so cherish every minute. Thanks for sharing your amazing experiences and feelings.
Jennica

Matt and Stephanie said...

I'm so happy for you!!!!!

Lance, Tiff n Ash said...

Aww you guys!! Shes soo cute! I love the decor on Macs grave announcing he's a big brother!! :) So sweet.

Kari said...

Your kids are so lucky to have a mom like you, Cali!

The Brady Bunch said...

She is gorgeous!!! Congrats you guys!!!

Parker's Paradise said...

you are such an amazing women!! I am so proud for you!! I wish you nothing but the best and look forward to many many updates on your beautiful little girl!!

HUGS!!!
april

Jace and Karen said...

josh and cali!

jace and i are so happy for you guys! we cant wait to meet little oakland! she will be grown before you know it!

Ashley said...

Congratulations to you and Josh! Oakland is beautiful.

You have an amazing family. Mac was a beautiful little boy and you are an amazing mom.

Enjoy your time with your little girl... I know you are!

Crystal said...

Congratulations! She is absolutely beautiful. I just stumbled upon Mac's blog and as I tearfully read through other comments I discovered that you were once again a new mommy. I have no idea who you are, but I am very happy for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your life with us. A year and a half later Mac is still touching lives and teaching us to cherish every moment.

wendy said...

calie,my name is wendy. my baby boy's name is kyle he's the baby of eight.He and i came across the blog for baby mac,as a mother my heart wept for you and your whole family.as kyle and i read mac's story my son (kyle)was so moved by what you had gone through he spoke about it for weeks.A few months later he came to me and said that's what he wants to do for a living become a mortician.I asked why. his replay was simple cause of baby mac and cali.a mortician is the last one who cares for the remains before they are layed to rest.and are in the arms of our HEAVENLY FATHER what an honor that would be. I just got off the phone with him from Afghanistan he's serving in the US Army he's a 92 mike. which means mortuary affairs. he takes care of our fallen heros with respect, grace,and dignity.with GREAT joy i shared your goooood news.we thank you for sharing your story with us it's impacted our lives in so many ways. "CONGRATULATIONS" from Afghanistan and layton ut.

Meredith said...

Cali, we have missed your updates. I am sure you are very busy with Oakland, but we miss you!!!

Your fan Meredith