First of all- I had to kidnap this computer from Josh in order to even attempt to update my blog and that was after my Sister-in-law, Erin, mentioned that it had been a little too long...so Thank you Erin! The reason being is that Josh is currently in his second to last semester of school! Yay!! He is always busy trying to stay caught up on all of his classes in between his main project- Math homework. So after both of us are home for the day, Josh gets priority on the computer. Understandable, I guess. :)
I am working full time still and have had a really crazy schedule. I got a new manager, the supervisor over the call center is only working part time now (which is really hard for me because she is one of my best friends and keeps me sane at work.) so I have been taking on a lot of her tasks as well, we just hired a new supervisor to cover her position so we've been working hard training him, and the others are in school so I have been trying to work the hours needed to fill in the gaps.
Now on to the good stuff...How am I doing emotionally and pregnant wise?
I am 30 weeks and 5 days pregnant... and loving every minute of it. I haven't retained water like I did last time, I don't sleep at all but am managing still, haven't had any contractions or suspicious activity and my precious baby girl moves on a consistent schedule- probably to keep me from going crazy.
Emotionally... I would say that I am doing well. I doubted how easy/hard it would be. I have some really good days where I don't have a single worry in the world, but I have my other days where I am terrified the same thing will happen again and am up all night crying. I knew that the further I got along in the pregnancy the harder it would be and I do have some honestly hard days where I just want the Dr. to start me right now since I know she is alive and well. However, during those hard times I still am rational enough to know that I want her to grow and develop as much as she can so that she is healthy.
I still miss Mac. A LOT. My thoughts used to be- "How big would he be", "What would he look like", "What would we be doing tonight", etc. Now those thoughts have turned in to "Would he understand the idea of me having another baby?", "what would he think of all this new pink stuff", "Would he be nice to her when she was born or be jealous". It's kind of presented a new challenge that I have had to go through that I wasn't all that prepared for. He would be about 18 months when she is born and every day I just have to remind myself that he IS a good big brother, probably the best you could ask for. He is probably excited for us to have another baby- maybe a little jealous too that she gets to hang out down here with us for a little while. :)
For me though, they are two separate kids. She is not taking his place at all- not even in the slightest way. He will always be my first little baby that changed my life in a way that none of my other children can. But she will be the baby that I get to raise and be with my whole life. I can tell you though- I do have a hard time not comparing how different I have looked with each of them! Josh many times tells me how much cuter I am with her than I was with Mac because I retained so much water that I just kind of looked large, rather than pregnant. On the other hand- I am a LOT bigger in the stomach than I was with him. Check out these pictures....
The first one is really blurry- sorry. I thought it could show how big I was at least. All of these pictures are of my pregnancy with Mac. So the first one was taken on 4/6 the second on 5/4 (I'll let you do the math since he was born on June 27) and the last one is about 10 days before I had Mac.
Now here is a picture of me taken today... It resembles the 10 days before my due date more than the other two!!
I am going crazy over pink, dresses, flowers, bows... and the best part if that Josh is a shopper, so he doesn't really stop me.
What are big brothers for? Hand-me-downs.
I saved all of Mac's stuff- I just couldn't let anything go, even down to the diapers and wipes. They sure have come in handy now! Josh and I went through all of the boxes together and sorted out what we could and couldn't use. I actually LOVED seeing everything again. I thought it would be hard but I went in to it thinking, "what can Mac share with his little sister".
Sneak Peak at her bedroom... Yes it's the corner. Ha. More pictures will come when we are completely finished. I am still working on the blinds and bedding.
These are some cravings I have had throughout my pregnancy. The two ongoing are pumpkin pie (good thing it's in season...or bad because it's not the healthiest choice) and Ice- whether it be crushed or cubed, I love it!
Ok well I am making a promise now that I will update my blog at least weekly now. Josh and I are going to work out a schedule so that I get some computer time. Maybe he can watch ESPN while I blog. :) But unfortunately he does need the computer now- Math assignment due at midnight and it's 10:30 but I have more to post so it will have to wait until tomorrow....