Tuesday, May 22, 2012

124 days down, 156 left…

Tomorrow I will be officially 18 weeks pregnant and 2 weeks blood free! I started my blood thinner this past week and so far things are going really well… besides the fact that I’m a complete nut case and check the baby’s heart beat at least 4 times a day (and I will not disclose how many times I normally do). :) Sorry I waited so long to update- I have turned in to a pessimist so kept thinking the “no blood” was “the calm before the storm”. No honestly, I’ve had some great support from Josh who has tried to keep me busy and have just been trying to relax and not stress myself out. Josh and I decided that I needed to cut back on my full time job so I resigned as the call center manager (here’s the posting in case anyone is interested! http://www.ksl.com/jobs/listing/89873/8) and am going to only be working 2 days a week once I can get someone trained for my position. 

I have my 18 week appointment on Friday that I’m hoping to learn more about the pool of blood they found in the last ultra sound and will actually also meet with my maternal fetal medicine doctor to ensure things in that realm are going well. We found out 3 weeks ago the gender of our baby, but since I was only 15 weeks I’ll wait until Friday to ensure nothing grew or fell off… any guesses? :)

I keep wondering/wanting to know when I’ll understand what I need to learn from these trials right this second. I have learned that most women have scary moments, trouble, or anxiety during pregnancy. Not a lot just go 100% smooth. I’m also still very grateful that I can have kids but am more grateful to those in my life that are unable to, but still seem to be my biggest support- sometimes without knowing it. But besides those, here is a list of things that have changed my family and I during all of this.

11.    Oakland will be a Doctor as she knows more about giving/comforting during a shot than any nurse I've met and checks her sibling’s heartbeat more than I do!
22.   Family means more than the world to me. I found myself willing to give up my health, strength, comfort, anything to protect this little one.
33.   I need to focus more on my family that I have here. I terrified Oakland, and she aged 20 years just to help me, comfort me, and make sure I was happy daily.
44.    I have some exceptional friends and family members.
55.    And “… dark times and trials are important. Trials show us the beauty of God’s comfort. It’s through the comfort we receive from God during our difficult times that we learn how to comfort others. Sometimes the process of growing closer to our Heavenly Father comes along the path of heartache and pain.”

                        And last... I have the most extraordinary little family and wouldn't change a single one of them.


The Maughans said...

You do have an extraordinary family and they have a fantastic mom / wife!!!

Alesha said...

I have read your story since your little Mac was born. I have never commented, but feel so inclined to now.

I remember reading his story and aching for you, even though I didn't know you. Although I hoped that would never happen to me, last year I lost my 7 week old baby.

With my 2nd baby I had a severe subcorionic hematomah. Sounds similar to what you have. So scary. He was a little fighter and was just fine. I hope the same for you.

Thanks for sharing your story about Mac. And where you are now. It gives me hope that at some point I can try again. Although I am sure I will check the heartbeat a gazillion times too!

Hang in there, and I hope the best for you.


Jay and Danielle said...

I am so glad things are looking up! Good luck at your appointment. You have the cutest little family :) I am going to guess a boy...just because that seems to be what everyone around me is having, can't wait to find out!

The Lunds said...

Oh Cali, I am so excited for you. I feel like I can totally relate with you on some level. This last pregnancy was so hard with bleeding and complications. I really felt as if I had already been through enough. You are such a strength to me and are such an amazing woman! I am rooting for Baby Hinkley to get here safe and sound!