Friday, August 31, 2012

11 week update

I realize that I have not done a very great job at updating on how life has been the past few weeks. Mostly because I have been enjoying every possible minute I can with Oakland! But here is a rundown of everything;

Oakland- Is still my little guardian. She makes sure I don't work too hard. Every morning Josh reminds her that she needs to take care of me and she does an exceptional job. She has taken over my jobs of doing the dishes and vacuuming and does quite well for a two year old! Her stutter is going away, she only does when she is overwhelmed (meeting someone new or around a lot of people), she still asks a lot of questions. Most of them are really hard for me to answer. Partially because she is two and I don't know what detail to go in to, other times because I don't know the answer for myself yet. She LOVES to tell people about the two brothers she has in heaven and we are working on explaining adoption to her. She went back to my Mom's this past week so that I could return to work and has ended up sleeping in my bed every night since then because neither of us want to part when I get home. :)

Josh- Honestly, I can never read this guy. :) He is just strong for me. I realize that he is in my life to keep me going. He's so positive and has such a great outlook on life. He's still working hard at Alder Construction and loves every minute of it. I think we are both just really glad to have each other at this point!

Me- Physically; I'm almost back to normal! I sneezed the other day and it didn't even hurt my stomach. :) I walked away with a few scars, but I kinda like em. They remind me of how lucky I am. I have the one on my stomach from the hysterectomy, one on my neck and leg from when they put in and took up the ivc filter, my arms are covered from various IV's, and I have a big one on my neck from the pick line. My heart, brain, other organs are undamaged as far as we can tell. I have had some trouble with short term memory loss so I write stuff down a lot. We are still working out my blood clots, I get my levels tested once a week to evaluate the blood thinner I am on. I'm hoping to only be on that for 3 more months and then we can run some more tests to determine if it will be a life long thing for me.

Emotionally; Let's just say it depends on the day, no hour, ok minute. Some nights it takes me a really long time to get to sleep so I only end up with a few hours before Oakland wakes up for the morning. Other times I have nightmares through the night but I can't recall them once I'm awake. And then there are the days when I am just so exhausted that I sleep like a champ. I've always been really great at crying so that happens frequently. Oakland stopped asking me what was wrong and instead just holds my hand or lets me cry to her. But then there are my happy moments. Happy to be alive, happy to have friends/family that I do, happy about who Oakland is, just really happy with my life!

Other; I went back to work this past week, only on a part time basis. I miss Oakland SO much while I'm gone. We thought it would be good to save some money for... Adoption! We are hoping to be assigned a case worker really soon and then the process will begin. I'm really excited. A lot of people have asked if it's too early, but I am not trying to replace Quincy. Of course, I want a baby. I want Oakland to have siblings to play with, I want our family to grow and I want a ton of kids! Josh and I both feel really good about the timing, and everything has gone smoothly so far, so we are hopeful. So... If anyone knows an expecting Mommy out there, I would love to meet her. :) I know that is a huge sacrifice and when I think of birth parents, I cry every time. Having nephews that were adopted and meeting their birth Moms is such a humbling experience for me. They are the most selfless ladies I have ever met and I have such a great love and respect for them.

I'm so grateful and overly satisfied with life right now. The next post will be all pictures so that everyone doesn't just get tired of my blabbing and can see how stinking cute Oakland is!


Stacie said...

Yay for adoption! So excited for you to begin that process. And, I think you're right about the scars...I have a friend who also lost a baby and she says she is grateful for a scar she has that reminds her of him. :) And thanks for stopping by with Brutus! You can do that ANYTIME! We loved it.

Casey said...

I found your blog by mistake one time, and I bookmarked you right away. You are an incredibly strong woman - thank you for sharing your story. I found your blog shortly after my son was born and you have inspired me to really make every moment count and to be thankful for the blessings in our life. I pray for you and your family since reading your story. I know there are amazing things in store for your family! Good luck!

Nancy said...

Cali, I love reading about your love for your family. That's really what it's all about! And how exciting to be looking into adoption-- good luck with everything! What a whirlwind of emotions.

I'll never forget everyone telling you in high school how amazingly beautiful you were and loving how you were one of the few girls who didn't wear makeup- just a natural beauty! Looks like Oakland got that from you too :)

Chloe Smith said...

Yet another beautiful outlook you have. I'm happy Oakland is such a help for your healing. :) Heres to your hopes and dreams being guys deserve it.

Ruth said...

I can't even begin to tell you how incredible you are! You strengthen so many people and I wish I could do the same for you. We still pray for you constantly. I hope that you continue to do well and that your pain is eased. Thank you for your blog. You cross my mind at least once a day and I am always wondering how you are coping. (I hate that word, don't wont why but it seems like such a simple word which is nothing lik you are going through!) I am glad that you are a positive person. You make people want to try harder to just be better.

tahnie said...

you are such a beautiful soul! our miracle girls are only a few months apart and although our stories are very different, oakland's wise demeanor reminds me so much of my daughter's. they know so much, they feel so much. your words and your attitude have lifted me tonight in facing my own trials and i cannot thank you enough.

much love and many blessings.

Karissa said...

I'm so happy I randomly decided to check your blog today! You're so amazing. You truly are. You are one strong woman.

And...YAY! I'm SUPER excited for you to start the adoption process. You will love it. It's long and it can be tough, but adoption is such a miraculous and beautiful thing. Seriously, the more I learn about it the more I love it. I love it for its uniqueness, for the love that comes from all sides of's just wonderful. If you have any questions or ever want to talk about adoption or the process just let me know! I mean, I'm pretty new at this too and I'm definately no expert, but I love talking about it!

I'm currently reading a book called "The Soul of Adoption" by Catherine E. Poelman. I highly recommend it!