Saturday, September 27, 2008

3 Months old...

McKallister would be three months old today...such an adorable cute age!! I wanted to thank two people in my life who have been amazing enough to name my baby after. First my Grandpa Scott. His middle name is Vance, so that's where Mac's middle name came from. I have grown to have such a love and appreciation for my Grandpa that no one could imagine. Anyone that knows my Grandpa can say that he is one of the most amazing people they have ever met!! Grandpa thank you for loving me for who I am and always commenting on how beautiful I look- even when I don't think I'm even pretty, thank you for putting a smile on my face when I'm feeling down, thank you for always tickling my knees to get me to laugh- even when I pretend I'm not ticklish anymore, thank you for taking pictures of my tummy every Sunday to see how big I got when pregnant, thank you for allowing my husband to spend countless hours in your shop using your tools and wood, thank you for showing me how to love everyone- no matter who they are, thank you for teaching me how to learn from a trial harder then anyone could imagine and stay positive when times are tough, and most of all- thank you for being my Grandpa Scott.

Second- Tyler McCallister. (I hope that's how you spell your last name, we switched up the spelling a bit:) ) Tyler served his mission with Josh and was an amazing friend. When they got home Tyler came on Josh and I's first date, so technically I've known Tyler as long as I've known Josh! Everyone calls Tyler "Mac" as well so that's where we got my Mac's first name. I've gotten to know Tyler's family a little bit and they are all amazing people! So much Love just radiates from them that I am so grateful they let me name my son after their last name. Tyler and his wife Laura came to the hospital after we lost McKallister and drove all the way from Cedar to come be with us. They stayed and entertained Josh, helped us carry stuff down to the car, and brought us comfort through their happy spirits. The two of them seemed to know exactly what to say to us, exactly how to make us smile, and were so caring! Later they invited us to Tyler's grandparents cabin to get away from the world- I can never thank them enough for that weekend. I was still sore from just having a baby and they treated Josh and I so well- making us dinner, letting us relax, and everything that is included in the best get-away vacation. You two are an amazing family and we love you so much!! Thank you for allowing us to be your friends. :)

So today I find myself asking..."How could I have ever expected less than a PERFECT son, after naming him after two amazing men."


Ike and Bethany said...

I am so glad you put that on your blog. If you don't get to this by the time Josh (and you?) come over, me and Ike would really love to go and visit Mac tonight. I am sure you guys are planning on doing that so maybe we can go together or meet you there if that would be easier. I can't believe it's been 3 months. Cali I think about him all the time and I know that Mac will never be forgotten. My future kids will know that they have a cousin up in heaven which they probably already know that because I am sure they are laughing at us everyday together.

Ashlea said...

Thank you for sharing insight into the meaning behind your son's name. It's always nice to know that some thought was put into it rather than just randomly picking something. It's good to see you blogging too, it's good for the healing process. Keep it up!

TAYBEL said...

Happy Three months Mac! We love you.
-The Aiono family

Scott, Amy & Joseph Gneiting said...

cali your awesome, i look up to you so much. i think it is so amazing how positive you are all the time, well at least on your blog. staying positive right now is the hardest thing for me and seeing that you are being positive has actually helped me alot. cali i sure love you and i hope you can feel it. your such an amazing mom and you stay so positive with mac and with life. i love you cali and stay strong you and josh are amazing. love you cali

Brousseau Family said...

Happy 3 month bday Mac. . . Cali - stay strong. I'm praying for you and can't wait to see what the future brings for you. . .

The Shurtz Fam said...

I have been contemplating on whether or not to do this for quite sometime. My name is Ashley. I was shown the blog for your precious baby Mac back in July and saw the link to your blog from there and have been following it ever since. I hope that doesn't weird you out, but I was very touched by your story and think about you and Josh and Mac just about every day. You are in my prayers as well. I felt a connection to you when I read your story. I can't imagine the pain you are going through and I know that Heavenly Father must have something wonderful in store for you after having you go through this trial. I don't know if many people could have shown the faith and the strength that you and your family have shown. It has definitely given me strength. I hope you don't mind if I continue to follow your blog and leave little comments here and there. I hope that much more joy comes into your life.

Tyler said...

Thanks for letting me be a part of your amazing story with baby Mak. I count it as an honor that you choose to name MAK after my name. I really don't think that I did anything too amazing to merit such an honor. And I surely don't add up to Grandpa Scott! You don't even know how much your story has helped us to appreciate and ponder the ways of the Lord. Even though I personally didn't know the little MAK man I feel that I, like others, have a connection to him through you both. Thanks for that! Ya Vas ochen Lublu e lublu MAKA!

Tyler said...

Not sure why I spelled Mac wrong during that last post. I must have thought that I was typing in Russian. Anyway. . Love MAC!

Gourley Fam said...

You two are amazing. I too know the pain of wanting to be a Mom (and my husband a Dad) all too well. Why we must feel the bitter pain is hard to swallow. I just trust in the Lord that he does know and see all. Wow, three months. I wonder what they are doing up there. I would like to be a fly on the wall and just peek for a a moment. I know there is much work to be done, and I would just like to glimpse the heavenly beings doing their duties. Autopsy results are hard. I too found comfort in the statistics. With our son though, there was no real cause of death. His heart did not fail, there was no clot, it was just simply his time. Anyways, keep the faith. Time does help.
Heart hugs,
Emily Gourley

Denise and Brandon said...

I'm a friend of Erin's and I have grown to love your little baby. I found this poem that I thought you might like. It's supposed to go with an ultrsound picture.

"My Precious little baby
I have loved you from the start
You are a tiny miracle
laying closely to my heart

Each day I felt your present
Each day you quickly grew
Each day your heart beat slowly
as only I knew

So I'll keep this in a special place
And remember each year through
of this very special time of life
The moments I carried you."
-Author Unknown

Rob and Susie said...

I have followed your blog since you lost your little man. Your little family has truly touched me and I check in on your blog if we are friends, just to see how you are doing. I am sure Mac is putting a baseball in his mouth and cooing at everyone around him. I am so proud of you and how you are choosing to heal. You have a beautiful spirit and I feel blessed to have seen your blog and follow your story. Please know that I pray for your heart to heal and you to continue to be strong. Josh seems to be a amazing husband and a good shoulder to lean on. You are amazing girl.
Love and support always

Chelsea said...

I stumbled across your blog and have spent the last hour or so reading about precious Mac, as well as bawling my eyes out! I don't know you guys but as a fellow member of the church, feel connected as a family. You guys are an inspiration. Parenthood is such a blessing and you both seem incredibly worthy of such an honor. I know you will get an earthly chance as parents, while Mac waits patiently in the eternity. I have also had a lil reality check tonight and realize life really is too short. I will cherish every moment I have with my 3 year old. God bless you both.

The Duke Family said...

I, too, am a stranger to you. Your blog found its way to me somehow and I cannot stop thinking of you. As I look at the photos of your precious baby in your arms, I see the sorrow in your eyes. However, I also see a surety, one that only us as members of the church truly realize. Mac is your treasure laid up in heaven. He is your surety with God. I have a treasure in heaven waiting for me as well. What a joyous day that will be to see them again. Please know I am praying for you.

Teresa in Tennessee

Natasha Holmquist said...

Hello Cali and Josh,
My name is Natasha. You don't know me, but my older brother Eli Slesk played baseball with Josh at UVSC. I have been following your blog for a couple months now (not to sound creepy!), and I just want to tell you how amazing you two are. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story, and Macs story! Your strength has brought me, and i'm sure a lot of other people strength! What are hard trial to go thru, but you have so many times pointed out the positive notes in everything! From reading your blog I have been brought to tears of sorrow, but of joy too, in knowing you two will see Mac again. What a sweet reunion that will be! My husband and I were married in 2007, but not sealed in the temple. Your story has opened our eyes, and helped us remember and know how important it is to be sealed, for our Eternal families! We have been working towards the temple now. We hope to go in this next year. And I want to thank you again for your story, and your beautiful son, he has touched our lives. He truly is an angel!

AnneMarie said...

Cali, I hope to see you soon, I miss you!

windhula said...

Hi Guys,
I am a loyal follower of a very funny blog: Today (10/9/08) I was reading her blog and discovered she also lost her baby. Check it out if you get a chance. P.S. Cali, did you get my email with the picture attachment from Walmart? -Michelle

Tyler & Cassie said...

This is Cassie from you parents ward, Tyler's wife. I have been following your blog since July. Colby told me about it because I kept asking how you guys were doing. I felt awful when I first heard, it broke my heart. I can't even imagine. You guys are amazing!! You have seemed to stay so strong and positive. I just wanted you to know that you have been in our thoughts are prayers.

The Ridgway Family said...

I came across your blog through the latter day angel babies. I am so sorry for your loss and I wish I knew why some of us are asked to pass through something so difficult as this. We too lost our sweet baby girl Eden on July 5th of this year. You are two amazing, special people and I know that the Lord will bless you and strengthen you as he has done to our little family. I pray that you will feel little Mac's spirit close to you as the days pass. Thank you for your example to me as we work through our grief.

Angel Eden's mommy