Baby Mac and Oakland

The other day we made a family trip up to see Mac right before bedtime! We call the cemetery Mac's park and I really want Oakland to know it and like to go up there. I try to take her up as much as possible and she is always really good when we are up there. I don't know how it will be for her, not knowing Mac. I know that for me, Mac's park is more a place where I can remember him and I like to go up there because that's one of the few places we got to spend with his little body. I don't really know how to explain it, but his park is really special to me and I hope that my kids can understand that and feel the spirit that is in Baby Land.

I don't know how many of you saw My Mom's post but there was a statue up at Mac's park of Jesus with little kids sitting around his knee. It was a really meaningful statue to probably a lot of the parents that have children buried there. Well, someone took a sledge hammer to Jesus and they ended up having to take the whole status down. :( It was on the news but here is a picture of how it looks now. On my Mom's blog there is a picture of right after it happened. Mac's grave is right behind the garden so just a few feet away from this statue. It's really sad...

Hopefully Mac's headstone will be leveled this spring from the tractor that drove over it to add another friend to Mac's park. It's a little crooked right now, but what little boy does stay in tip top shape when they are almost 2? :)

The Mom, The Wheelchair, and the stroller

So the other day, I came home to this...

So much fun! Alex is back in his wheelchair because the screw they put in his hip has broken. They will be doing surgery again soon to fix it and he'll most likely be in a full body cast after.

:( Poor guy. My Mom is so amazing to take care of the girls as well as keep Alex entertained and having fun in the wheelchair. to keep posted on Alex, read here...Thanks Mom and Alex for doing a train walk with Oakland!!!

The great outdoors!

Oakland mowed her first lawn last Saturday with Grandpa Scott. Thanks Grandpa for being such a great man and always so willing to play, watch and entertain Oakland. She really loves you and is luck to have you as a Great-Grandpa!

Ok- can they look more alike? Oakland is totally her Dad's little girl!

She loves the grass...

Nothing better than painted toe nails and a freshly mowed lawn!!

Oakland + Stroller = Pure Happiness

What more can I say? Oakland absolutely loves her stroller. Now that it's warm, it's her new favorite toy... And you all know I enjoy it too!!!

Bikes...

So any of you that know Josh, knows he gets on kicks of what he wants to buy next. Shoes, a toy chest, games... even items he knows we won't have for a long time; a house, a BIG truck, a motorcycle, a jeep, a big screen tv... everything that has to come when you are rich. :)

Well he got his mind set on bikes. A mountain bike for himself, a nice bike for me to ride and a trailer for Oakland. I was not too excited about that until he said the main reason he wanted it was to ride up to Mac's grave on a warm summer day with Oak and I.... Awwww- I'm sold!!!



Josh rides at least 3-4 times a week, I try to do my best but get so warn out! I really need to get my leg back in shape from the blood clot. It still gets really weak or cramps up if I do too much. And I am proud to brag about Josh and say that he HAS actually ridden from our house up to Mac's grave!!!



Oakland loves riding behind our bikes. She seriously enjoys looking around, going over bumps, and being outside. It's a really fun family activity and we do it often so I'm glad that we bought them!


After the bike ride is done, Oak is always sad to go back in her car seat... but she knows we will do it again!!

She's in good hands

This is a conversation Josh and I had via text when I was at work and he was watching Oakland:

Cali: How's my baby?
Josh: So good... we both just woke up...she's so cute
Cali: Did you guys play outside?
Josh: Yeah she loves it... but she got hungry so we came in quick.
Cali: Thanks for taking such good care of her...
Josh: I have to... She's my girl

Awww. What a sweet Daddy!!!

Why did this happen to me?

When Mac first passed away, I think everyone's first thought was "Why". Sometimes you just can't help it. I wondered why I wasn't good enough to be a Mom, or what I had done to cause this to happen. I wondered why I had gone through the entire 9 months of pregnancy, only to have a life with Mac cut short because of a cord accident. I wondered why God would do this to me? Why does he not love me enough to keep me from feeling that pain. I think everyone tends to do this when life gets tough.

Today though, I say this...

Why did God love me enough to trust me with his choice spirits and allow me to have Oakland on this earth to raise? What did I do to cause this to happen- be lucky enough to have two amazing kids. Why did I go through the doubts and hurt thinking I wasn't good enough when I know now what I do? Why would God do this to me? Why does he LOVE me so much that he would let me feel pain so that when Oakland was born, I know the hurt I could have felt and can feel the gratitude, pure love, and happiness towards our kids.

A wise women once said, "We can ask "why?" and "if only..." all we want, but it won't change the reality that Mac just wasn't meant to stay with us. No matter what would have happened differently, the outcome would have remained the same. God does not make mistakes. Mac was simply not meant to be here. He was too perfect to stay. His spirit was so pure that he had to be called home before enduring the trials and pains of this world. He fulfilled his earthly mission in the short time he was here and has returned to his heavenly home."

I say, "We should ask "why?" about the good things in life every day, because Heavenly Father loves us enough to bless us on a daily basis. No matter what does happen in our lives, God does not make mistakes. Some things are meant to happen, to teach us and to help us grow. We need to strive to be perfect. Our family needs to look up to Mac and his spirit that is so pure and live through the trials and pain of this world so we can be with him again some day. We need to fulfill our earthly mission in the time we have so we can also return to our heavenly home."

Why am I and my family healthy?
Why do I get the oppurtunity to raise such an amazing little girl?
Why do I have such a great job?
Why do I have a husband that loves me?
Why do I get the chance to see snow and smell rain?
Why do I get the priviledge to live in a day where there are wonderous things happening in the church?
Why do I deserve this? Why is this happening to me? HOW did I get so lucky...

Facts

Oakland is 16 pounds 5 ounces- 93 percentile!
She is 26 inches long- 97 percentile!! (remember this girl is only 4 months)

She gets comfy when sleeping- no messing around!


She's got the big bug eye look going on...


Did I mention that's all the time...


She is still a very serious baby but if you are a man- she loves you and will smile at you.

G.G. got her a new book- It's the only one she'll sit through and quite thouroughly enjoys it!

She loves her tummy!

She attended her first baseball game on March 20th and could only pay attention to breathing in that darn wind. Maybe another day she will be interested in it. Daddy hopes. :)

Happy Easter!

Easter morning was so much fun. We did a basket for Oakland and she loves her new things from the Easter Bunny.




Then there is always the food! We got to spend time with both Josh's family and mine on Easter- a big lunch and dinner with some amazing food.






The kids on both sides waiting to hunt those eggs!




Oakland's first egg discovery!

Oakland still LOVES her daddy!

And her fist. :)

Oakland with Aunt Rachel and Zoey!

Granny goose and all the little Grandgirls...

Goodnight Oakland- Happy Easter!!!

Easter, like all holiday's, are a little hard for me. There is always that thought of wondering what Mac would do. If he would be interested in the eggs or just like running around with the other kids. This Easter was far better than last since I had Oakland but still hard to see all the grandkids pile on Granny Goose and Grandpa Hinks lap, all my cousins and nieces and nephews search frantically for eggs, and everyone ooh and awe over how much your kid has grown over the last little while. Mac would be a year and 9 months this Easter- walking, jabbering, getting in to things, and wanting the toy the other kid has.

This Easter though, I have to be grateful for the church and what my Savior did for me. I am grateful that there is a way the I can see Mac again and raise him some day. I love the gospel and know it's true!

Uppercase Living

I work in the home office of Uppercase Living who just released a new mini catalog for the year 2010. This catalog has exclusive kits for a variety of occasions, one of which being baby showers! Look who's famous!!!!



They used Oakland's name (first and middle with all the right spelling) for the picture in the catalog!! Now you have to understand, I am not stylish, I don't stay up on the latest trends or go with the newest fashions. So- I think it's pretty amazing that the Design team likes Oak's name enough to publish it in the catalog! This is going in her scrap book for sure :)

Thoughfulness...

I don't know how many people look at the comments left by others so I had to post this. I received a comment from Missing Juanito letting me know about a surprise on their blog. I clicked over to this...


....And well over 50 more! Amazing. I could not believe my eyes at the selflessness of this sweet women and that she would think of Baby Mac and I on her Easter day. I am amazed by families like this. I will past more about our Easter later this week but had to share this with everyone because it left a big smile on my face...

Some Firsts...

*If you don't read this whole post, at least look at the last picture... It's my all time favorite!

Alex's birth family came in to town 2 weeks ago and we got to do so many fun things with them. Here is a family picture of all of them. Ernie (Alex's birth father) his brothers and sisters, Collin holding Shyla, Nathan, Sierra, Alex and Ernie's wife, Ashley.





Oakland's first trip to the zoo!!! She loved it! I don't think she noticed the animals but she loved the oudoors. We haven't been able to go out to much with it being so cold so she loved to look around at all the trees.

Her first carousel ride. She did NOT like it when she was sitting forward but when I turned her around she loved to look around at all the bright lights and other "animals" behind her.

She loved this monkey!!!

Mom even got to have fun at the park with the kids. I actually loved this see saw... Normally they are so uncomfortable but this one at the zoo is really fun.

This is my favorite picture- this is Oakland's facial expression 99% of the time. So cute!

We got to go swimming with their family while they were in town.

I think this is a sign of things to come, tanning by the side of the pool with her friends. :)

I love my family...

On a side note, Oakland picks up toys on her own now! This was a picture of the first time she grabbed it by herself. Both Josh and I were so shocked when we found out the other person didn't give it to her, we didn't know she could do that!

Oakland is teething (as of last Saturday), so her fist is her new best friend. She even takes that over her binkie most of the time.

And here are some of my favorite pictures of Oakland from the zoo...